Friday, January 27, 2017

Faith, Freedom & Fertility stigma

"Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive tree may fail, And the fields yield no food; Through the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls- Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deer's feet, And He will make me walk on the high hills." Habakkuk 3:17-19
While I was the reading my bible today the Lord led me to this verse and I felt it was so applicable to share with you all about this journey and a great reminder that no matter the outcome, my Joy and worth comes from the Lord.
I want to share a bit of how the Lord has spoken to my heart in the past 6 years about my worth and identity and how pregnancy nor motherhood define me. I am a Daughter of the the King, A precious jewel, I am a wife to an amazing man, A daughter to the best earthly parents a girl could ask for, sister, aunt, and friend. Whatever title(s) you have been given at this current state in your life, remember that though they have significant meaning to you, they don't define who you are. We live in a world that is OBSESSED, I mean really obsessed, with titles. The world is concerned with how many you have, which ones are more important and unfortunately if you don't have the "right" title, you are not as desirable as a friend ( significant other) to many people. So right now I hold a bunch of different titles. I am a mommy, a wife, a friend, sister, aunt, daughter, runner, woman of God... the list could go on. Now, a few of those titles hold more meaning in my life simply because it's what I live day in and day out. Mommy is my biggest title and the one I so easily allow to define who I am. Obviously, as you know from either our friendship or my previous blog post, we have never been pregnant and heard the Lord calling us to adopt in 2014. I absolutely love being a mom. I dreamt of these day for so many long, tearful days and nights and I am so grateful for our son's birth mom choosing us and choosing LIFE for him. I constantly have to be reminded that even though being a mom is the greatest blessing, it doesn't define me. I was first a follower of Christ and daughter of the King and that is the title above all others that will remain if any of those others were to never happen or fall apart. We strive to be the best mom or wife, employee, friend or student. We put everything into that in hopes we will be the best at them. I know in my life that so much of my energy goes into being the best mom I can be and then when I feel as though I have "failed", my world feels like it's been rocked. I am still a work in progress, but I am learning that if I put more of my energy into my relationship with the Lord and my relationship with my husband ( Jesus, Husband, Children), that all the other areas of my life become much smoother and easier to manage. Don't allow the world's view of who you are define you. Don't allow the title that is in the foreground of your life define your worth or who the Lord says you are.

I wanted to clear the air a little bit as we continue with our journey. Forgive me if I get a little heated about this all. I am so frustrated that in 2017 there is still this HUGE stigma that comes along with infertility or any pregnancy struggles. Be it being unable to get pregnant or not being able to stay pregnant or the loss of a child full term. The CDC states that 10% of woman ( 6.1 MILLION) are unable to get or stay pregnant, and yet we still are looking down on women making them feel as if there is something wrong with them. Or what's almost even worse is the snide or "trying to be encouraging, but actually not at all" comments like, "Oh, it'll happen, stop worrying", "You sure you know what you are doing?", "I had a friend who struggled with that and they went away on a trip, stress free and got pregnant!". I obviously can only speak for myself but I will speak on behalf of the other women and couples that are going through and/or have gone through this trial, please, please, think before you speak. If you haven't experienced infertility or the loss of child, don't try and comfort as if you know what we are going through. Make us laugh, distract us, ask us about what is going on and tell us that you are so, so sorry and don't know at all what we are going through or why, but that you know it must suck, but that you love us and will be here for us for anything we may need. We don't want to be excluded from events out of fear it would hurt us. Don't treat us as if we have a contagious disease. As like any other trial or struggle you may go through, there are good days and bad and on those bad days is when we need friends more then ever to encourage and lift us up. Lastly, I know for myself I love sharing what we've gone through and are going through. It reminds me of how much I've grown and learned and all the Lord has taught me. It also is a way of healing for me, by talking about the thing itself, it makes me remember that I serve a God that is bigger and greater then any physical issues that may cross our paths.

I have another video for y'all & I have to say I am really enjoying doing the videos. I feel that I can express things much more clearly. ENJOY, SHARE & COMMENT


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  3. So excited to hear about what happens at your February 10th appointment!